Week of misery ....
Last Sunday, the outlet pipe from our 3 month old new bathroom started to overflow and water cascaded outside onto the path. No problem - I have it insured with British Gas. Rang on Monday and they can come on Saturday (Can't get anyone to stay in the house to wait for repairs as I'm on attendance review at work and need to have no absences till the end of summer term; son and daughter working; Dad on a drinking binge again and not fit to leave his house)

Monday - Dad is terrible, not eating and repeating over and over that he wants to die. He refuses to let me call the community matron who cme last time. Decide to wait and see....

Tuesday - boiler stops working. No hot water and no heating. No other means of either except kettle

Weds - Son 3 stays with gfriend, daughter 2 and I stay with friend and spend next 3 days living out of bags.

Thurs - car smells like gas - like I'd left the gas on and forgot to light the oven. Son 3 puts his gdad to bed as he was helplessly drunk on neat vodka.

Friday - daughter 1 home from Uni to let boiler men in. Needs a new circuit board. Orders and should be done for Sat afternoon. Daughter 2 has car and rings to say she had a flat tyre. Called AA man and mentioned bad smell from car. He checks and says the gear box has gone. Reckons c £800 to repair.

Sat - get home from another night sleeping out at 8am as drains man is coming for 8-12 appointment. Arrives at 11.30 by which time I'm blue. Takes photos!!!!! Then says he will send them to insurance to see if I am covered! Mid afternoon, gasman returns and sorts boiler. Yay. However, even at full blast, hot water in taps is warm and radiators warmish. House still freezing. Need to call again tomorrow to see if they can come back and check thermostat.... Nobody in till Weds though when daughter 2 has day off.

Seriously - all that did happen. If it was in a sit-com it would seem far fetched. Tomorrow I will have to find time to ring Gas, community matron, garage, consultant's secretary (to see if I can ask for foot op to be in Easter hols to minimise my absence from school at Head's request) as well as teach 5 lessons and have a meeting after school. I seriously feel like I can't cope. I can't be off as I am potentially 2 written warnings from dismissal (Union suggest taking a grievance out against Head but that has always resulted in them finding people unsatisfactory and getting rid....)

I know there is nothing to say ---- just ranting really Ailsa

Thankyou Gogs - nice to know you are nearby-ish, though in the nicer part of Cheshire!

Just for the record - it is my 85 year old DAD who has the drink problem, bingeing on and off over the last 5 years. Mum died last April and he says he has nothing left to live for, but he was like this for 4 years before she died too. I probably sound hard, but it is such willful, self-destructive behaviour in spite of me and the grandchildren being round the corner and him getting at least 2 visits a day.

BUT ... I did put up with an alcoholic husband. He was my only real boyfriend and no-one could have anticipated it happening to him. I divorced him after 14 years of marriage and 5 children in 9 years, then completed my teacher training so I could manage to keep us all going. It feels so unfair to have had an alcoholic husband, survived through the teen years of 3 sons going out, only to come to the end of that and land up with an 85 year old father who behaves like a drunken teen and is abusive and unmanageable.

You're right! It is good to get it all out. this should have been in the letting off steam!!

Hi Ailsa

I was so sorry to hear how you are having to cope with so much - I cannot believe the situation that you have been placed in at your work. How is this allowed when you are ill - it is diabolical and my heart really goes out to you. You have so much to deal with and that will just be adding if not a trigger to the stress.

I certainly don't blame you for having a rant - feel free to keep doing so. I am hoping you will have a better week this week - the start of March etc.

Please keep in touch and speak soon

Lisa xx

Hi Ailsa

What a week - I'm busy thanking my lucky stars after reading your post.

Hope next week solves the more technical problems.

Angie x

Thankyou everyone for your encouragement - it really helps! Suzanne, I'm sorry you had to go through that as a child too. But it helps to know that you understand the misery that alcohol can cause to families.

And thanks for the school support too Kathleen - as if it's not a hard enough job anyway, without awkward Heads and "support" to improve attendance!

I will keep you updated Angie and Lisa, and really do appreciate you 'listening'.

Have a good start to the week everyone xx ailsa

Me too Ailsa
Can't believe how much can be thrown at one person in just one week.
Thinking of you and hoping for some positive results soon

Julie x

Well done Ailsa, that sounds like a good day.

Re your Dad - the problem with alcoholics is that they are very manipulative (that's how they live their lives), making sure someone else feels the guilt, not them!!
In that situation you are between a rock and a hard place - nothing you do will ever be the 'right' thing, but you are not the cause of him drinking, you are not
the cause of the way he lives his life, you are not responsible no matter how guilty you feel that his life is such a mess.
What I've picked up from your emails is that you are an incredible woman, hugely caring and efficient, who seems to juggle half a dozen things at once. I'm not surprised
you feel under strain/siege.

Well, like me you have but some plans in place, you are trying yet again to take control of a pretty nasty situation - don't beat yourself up with guilt.

Keep posting

Gogs xx

Hi Ailsa,

I hope this week has been better for you?

Thankyou for your kind thoughts friends. Car is still in bits somewhere in a garage of a friend of my ex's - why, oh why did I believe it would really help?? Past experience should have made it clear that it never works..... I'm lucky to have a friend who has put me on her insurance nd allowed me the use of her car. I came home on he bus last week, with bags of marking, on the same bus as pupils, then had to hobble home from the bus stopin the rain. I was VERY sorry for myself when I got in!!

The heating now works but hot water from taps is still intermittent and is likely to cost £600 for a chemical clean of the system (no, not covered for that in spite of having Homecare agreements aplenty) He is trying a sonic clean on Thursday which might do it and doesn't cost. Fingers crossed! I feel I have an intricate knowledge of the workings of gear boxes, clutches and boilers that I would happily do without....

Got my op date for the toes for 15th April - i will post on the surgery thread for that as I feel I have lots of questions.

Dad is a lot better after having a terrible day of hallucinations last week. It seems to have scared him into quitting the vodka for now, though still on weakish beer.

Seems like there is never a dull moment...I also find myself doing a lot of "this time last year" thinking as it comes up to the 1st anniversary of Mum's death, mother's day etc.

Thanks for all your encouraging thoughts, I appreciate your advice and kindness. Ailsa xx

glad a friend is helping you out with a car Ailsa,

as for the rest .. well let's hope all are sorted as soon as, but at what price i know!

hope your Dad can keep clear of the vodka, that must play on your mind all day, let alone having to hold your teaching job down.

first Anniversaries are always so difficult, hope you can find some peace time.

take care,
Suzanne x